A LIfe In The Day Of A Magician

close up magician
On Saturday I spent three hours performing as a close up magician at two separate events. Before you accuse me of having it far too easy, here’s what my day actually looked like:

6:00 – Got up.

7:30 – Set off for 220 mile journey to the Fennes Estate in Essex for a corporate event.

7:31 – Put Limp Bizkit CD on.

7:32 – Realise that I’m 37, I hate Limp Bizkit and put on Radio 4.

11:00 – Arrive at venue for event.

12:30 – Do magic things for 2 hours, including a card trick on a bouncy castle (don’t ask).

14:30 – Athletically* leap back into car for another 220 mile drive, this time to the Marriott Hotel in Worsley.

18:30 – Arrive at 2nd venue.

19:30 – Begin performing more card tricks – a wedding reception for 18 people.

19:45 – A 90 year old lady informs me that the secret to longevity is constant sex.

19:46 – I calculate I will die before I’m 50.

20:33 – Athletically crawl to car and drive home while promising self not to stop at McDonald’s.

21:10 – Stopped at McDonald’s.

21:12 – Remember I’m on the Slimming World diet and if I eat anything here, as I might as well be eating a bucket full of lard.

21:13 – Mmmmmmm…..lard.

22:30 – Arrive home.

22:31 – Contemplate getting a proper job or only doing gigs within a 5 mile radius of my house.

* yeah, right.

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